The English Don’t Yet Realize Mitt Says Dumb Things All The Time

by evanmcmurry

Look, I know England isn’t technically part of the continent, and gets to keep its pounds instead of switching over to the Euro so if you’re stopping off in London on your way back to America you have to exchange your money twice, losing a lot of value in the process. So it’s not <spooky>Europe</spooky> in the sense that Romney et al mean it, like it’s synonymous with socialist four year olds drinking wine at four p.m. on a government pension cuz they’re already retired.

But if Obama can’t conduct ordinary diplomatic relations with other countries without conservatives losing their damn heads, why is it perfectly acceptable for Romney to cross the pond and restore the “special relationship” with England? If Obama tried to restore a relationship, special or otherwise, with any nation separated from <spooky>Europe</spooky> by something called a “Channel,” Fox Nation would be leading with “Obama Appeases Foreign Dictators” and Crossroads GPS would be running ads in Ohio with whatever anodyne statement Obama made to David Cameron set over a minor moog chord. The very fact that Obama speaks to other leaders is enough to show his true global (read: Indonesian read: Muslim) upbringing bursting forth from his American shell, made in Kenya.

Of course, all of this is in a world in which Mitt Romney was able to successfully execute a single moment of tricycle diplomacy. He didn’t. Instead, he flew all the way to England just to insult them by criticizing their preparation of the Olympic games, and then topped it off by forgetting the name of the head of the Labour party, calling him “Mr. Leader,” because, as should be no surprise, improvising ain’t Romney’s strong suit.

The English are pissed. The Daily Mail called him “humiliating.” A Times of London reporter tweeted, “So Mitt Romney disses our Olympics. We’re the Special Relationship, the easypeasy bit of US foreign relations. How will he deal with China?” In fact, the British are so pissed  there’s actually a live blog dedicated to how pissed they are.

But it’s David Cameron FTW:

We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it’s easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.

When even Mr. Austerity-Works-On-Opposite-Day is scoring points off you, maybe it’s time to pack it in. After all, as Chait points out, the entire point of the trip was that only Romney could restore the “special relationship” (due to his Anglo-American heritage, natch). Shouldn’t it give Romney’s supporters pause that he failed at his mission before unzipping his suitcase?

Additional Viewing: The Special Relationship

Addenda: Romney should be thanking his lucky stars that a) Rupert Murdoch and his tentacles are momentarily sidelined, and b) Christopher Hitchens isn’t still alive.

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