Behold The Most American Sentence Ever

by evanmcmurry

So not only did Mitt Romney’s campaign hold a fundraiser on a yacht—an unseemly stunt for a candidate battling a rich-guy image problem, but hey, gotta pay the bills—but this yacht flew the Cayman Islands flag. If the boat turns out to be called the USS Deduction, we should just all go home.

Leave aside for a moment what would happen if a member of the campaign of Hussein Obama, Caliph of Otherstan, appeared within a mile of a non-US flag; at this point, even if Obama daily hoisted the stars and stripes himself, Fox News would devote an hour to complaining that he didn’t use a big enough flag or raise it as high as other presidents, and Crazy B. Internet would be arguing that the fact that he was flying it was proof he was lulling us into somnolence so we didn’t see the UN troops approaching. Yet Romney’s rich pals can pledge allegiance to the flag of Not Paying Taxes, during a surreptitious fundraiser that ABC News only discovered by following a cryptic entry on Romney’s schedule, and that’s all good.

Nope, the best part is the women ABC News interviewed for local opinion about the incident:

“I think it’s ironic they do this aboard a yacht that doesn’t even pay its taxes,” said a woman who lives aboard a much smaller boat moored at the St. Petersburg Municipal Marina.

If F. Scott were alive today, he’d write a novel called A Much Smaller Boat.* For all the words wasted over the specter of class warfare last fall, here is the true tectonic plate of American economic division: not class warfare, but class envy. The GOP succeeds because people with smaller boats will always vote on the chance that they could one day have a bigger boat, and those without boats at all that they could one day get one. And so voters keep electing the party that lowers their wages, demolishes their collective bargaining rights, redistributes wealth to the wealthy via austerity programs, etc., in other words ossifies class divides, making any upward mobility impossible—all on the chance that they could be the lucky one to escape that common fate and wind up on a yacht, at which point I seriously doubt they will care what flag flies above them. A Flea In The Fur’s annual budget says that the women who waahed about that boat votes for Romney. She’d rather be him than beat him. (via Erik Loomis)

* Or possibly John O’Hara.