Jennifer Rubin’s Column Now Officially A Black Hole

by evanmcmurry

Under the Jennifer Rubin Formula ([Any Event] x a Jennifer Rubin Column = Mitt Romney), Bill Clinton’s convention address x last night’s Jennifer Rubin column = Mitt Romney. Super. Here’s where it gets weird:

Toward the end of the speech, Clinton blew the race card whistle loudly, claiming voter ID laws (which have been blessed by the Supreme Court and in case after case have failed to produce a single minority voter who could not obtain an ID) intend to depress minority voting.

First of all, how the hell do you blow a race card, and how is it both a card and a whistle?

Moving on: Guh? Where is this evidence of the non-existent minorities who don’t have IDs who didn’t show up? (Is that…is that a triple negative? There is no evidence that there are no people who don’t have IDs who didn’t go to the polls.) How does Rubin know they haven’t been “produced,” whatever that means? What does it mean for a law intended to prevent people from going to the polls to fail to produce the exact event it was intended to prevent? Isn’t saying that we have yet to have minorities be turned away at polls, if it’s evidence of anything, evidence that voter ID bills suppress minority turnout? And again, what evidence does she have that this non-event isn’t happening, or is happening, or…now I’m confused.

One line later:

Given how popular voter ID laws are with voters at large, you understand how entirely dependent Obama is in this election on non-white voters .

O…..kay, so voter ID laws don’t depress minority voting, but Obama is against them because he’s reliant on…minority voting? What the fuck is she talking about?

The answer:

He did not mention Israel.

WAAAH. How does Jennifer Rubin even write columns with her arms crossed?