New Yorker Self Parody Watch, Comprehensive Retroactive Pretention Edition

by evanmcmurry

Number of words in a New Yorker sports article before you get to an umlaut: 379, bringing their running average to 316.

But this week’s case is special, for the umlaut appeareth not in the New Yorker‘s text, but in a quote from an ESPN article. Here’s the New Yorker version:

Back then, it was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid. I was naïve. And I wanted to prove to everyone that, you know, I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. And I did take a banned substance. You know, for that I’m very sorry and deeply regretful.

Here’s ESPN‘s version:

Back then, it was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid. I was naive. And I wanted to prove to everyone that, you know, I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. And I did take a banned substance. You know, for that I’m very sorry and deeply regretful.

That’s right: the New Yorker actually added an umlaut to Alex Rodriguez’s statement in the ESPN article. That’s some comprehensive, retroactive pretension. I guess a “[sic]” would have been heavy-handed?

ESPN responded, “At least we don’t employ Andy Borowitz.”