A Flea in the Fur of the Beast

“Death, fire, and burglary make all men equals.” —Dickens

Michele Bachmann: Woman In Parking Lot Told Me Staying In Congress Causes Retardation

by evanmcmurry

Far be it for Bachmann to exit stage right without a proper bow to the looniez in the cheap seats:

The law limits anyone from serving as president of the United States for more than eight years. And in my opinion, well, eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a representative for a specific congressional district.

This is…not convincing.

Al-Qaida’s Employees Are Just As Shiftless As Ours, Which Means We Won

by evanmcmurry

Hey, a performance eval of an al-Qaida terrorist sounds like…any performance eval anywhere ever:

After years of trying to discipline him, the leaders of al-Qaida’s North African branch sent one final letter to their most difficult employee. In page after scathing page, they described how he didn’t answer his phone when they called, failed to turn in his expense reports, ignored meetings and refused time and again to carry out orders.

Plus he smoked pot out back and stayed clocked in during his shift drink. Honestly, people just don’t have any work ethic anymore. [h/t Pierce]