Terrorists Are Idiots, Sleeping Israel Death Ray Edition

by evanmcmurry

This blog subscribes to the theory that there are not more terrorist attacks in this world because only idiots become terrorists, and idiots aren’t very good at pulling off large-scale anything. (This theory has more behind it than you’d think.)

To wit:

Glendon Scott Crawford, 49, of Galway, is accused in a federal complaint of developing “a radiation emitting device that could be placed in the back of a van to covertly emit ionizing radiation strong enough to bring about radiation sickness or death against Crawford’s enemies,” states the complaint attributed to an FBI agent.

[snip] The investigation broke open in April 2012 when Crawford allegedly went into an Albany-area synagogue and “asked to speak with a person who might be willing to help him with a type of technology that could be used by Israel to defeat its enemies, specifically, by killing Israel’s enemies while they slept,” the complaint says. He referred to Muslims and enemies of the United States as “medical waste,” according to court records. Later that day, Crawford telephoned an Albany Jewish organization, using his cell phone, and made a similar offer, the complaint states. An FBI agent’s affidavit indicates that someone at the unidentified synagogue contacted police, who relayed the information to the FBI. At that point a Joint Terrorism Task Force began an investigation.

Put aside for a moment that a good way to get caught is to announce your plans over a cell phone to strangers. Why would a synagogue know about sleeping death rays? I’ll admit to not paying the highest amount of attention in what passed for shul in my youth, but I’m pretty sure I would have sat right up when the cantor covered x-ray guns.