A Flea in the Fur of the Beast

“Death, fire, and burglary make all men equals.” —Dickens

Category: Conspiracy theories

Top 10 reasons Peter Schiff is a clown

by pdxblake

Ten (plus or minus a few) gems that will entertain you if you like to make fun of gold bugs like Peter Schiff (via Bloomberg):

[Peter Schiff] shows off $50 gold chips, to be used when paper money becomes worthless, a prediction repeated on his daily two-hour radio show broadcast from his basement studio to 68 stations in 30 states and 50,000 listeners online.

…of course he broadcasts it from his basement…

“Before President Barack Obama leaves office in 2017 the U.S. will default, the dollar will collapse, hyperinflation will strike and gold will skyrocket, he says.”

…haha…

“With inflation at or below the Fed’s 2 percent target for the past 11 months, the Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index reaching record levels and the dollar strengthening against major currencies in the past year, Schiff knows his forecasts make some people laugh. He’s used to it. “

…yeah, he’s used to being laughed at…that’s because he’s a CLOWN!

““They should take him seriously — he was right with a lot of other ones,” Ron Paul […] Schiff was an economic adviser to [Ron] Paul’s presidential campaign in 2007.”

…that explains so much…so, let’s bring in Austin Goolsbee for some explaining…

“They [gold bugs] have been saying that for literally four-plus years, and they have been egregiously wrong,” Goolsbee said by phone Oct. 30. “As a matter of mathematics, they’re just adding up the numbers incorrectly to say that they think there’s going to be 200 percent inflation.”

…I fear for the people who listen to him for advice…

“Thank God we got so many stupid people that don’t understand the value of gold because that means that people who do understand are able to buy it at a low price,” Schiff said into the microphone. “Don’t necessarily get mad, get in on it.”

…and these are the types of people who do…

“Schiff’s listeners call in wanting to know how to prepare. Mike from St. Lucia asked about a $1 trillion treasure allegedly hidden in a New Mexico mountain, that if found would make a dent in the national debt. “We don’t have that much time” to discuss such theories, Schiff said.”

…and yes, he does like to promote himself…

“In November 2011, Schiff visited Occupy Wall Street protesters in Manhattan’s Zuccotti Park to “represent the 1 percent [and] see if I can have a dialog with the other 99 percent.”

…but wait, there’s more (this sentence is a real gem):

“Schiff credited his father ‘‘whose influence and guidance concerning basic economic principles enabled me to see clearly what others could not.’’ Irwin Schiff has long advised people that they didn’t have to pay income tax, and is serving a 13-year sentence in the Federal Correctional Institution in Fort Worth, Texas, for tax evasion.”

And that pretty much made my day.  He also ran for Senate and lost to Linda McMahon.  Read the whole thing here.

Infowars: “False Flag?!@?! What are you, cRaZy?!?!?”

by evanmcmurry

HA!

“I’m not saying that people shouldn’t ask questions about events of this nature because we know that governments have lied about them in the past. But to claim this is staged, this is fabricated, this is all crisis actors just makes no sense,” Watson explains in a YouTube video posted on Jones’ Prison Planet channel.

As Blake points out, this comes within twenty-four hours of Alex Jones claiming Obama caused the tornados in Oklahoma, or something. There’s an Obama-tornado-TelePrompTer joke in there somewhere, but I can’t find it.

Impeach Darrell “Richard Nixon” Issa or Something!

by evanmcmurry

A muy-confusing development in the #BENGHAZI non-scandal: despite what we’ve been hearing about Ambassador Stevens requesting additional security at the US consulate and not getting it, now we have evidence that he twice turned down additional security. No one yet knows why he’d do so, but if true—a provision that should be appended to every element of the #BENGHAZI story—this deflates the last of the conspiracy angles on the issue, which was that the State Department and the White House were covering their asses for not providing additional security that might have saved Stevens himself.

Even more, it turns out someone—maybe someone named Darrell Issa?—already knew about this:

But a spokesman for Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., the chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, indicated that some lawmakers may have been aware of Stevens’ exchange with Ham.

“Decisions conveyed by Ambassador Stevens were made on behalf of the U.S. State Department,” the spokesman, Frederick Hill, said in an email. “There were certainly robust debates between State and Defense officials over the mission and controlling authority of such forces. The lack of discussion by the public ARB report about the role inter-agency tension played in a lack of security resources remains a significant concern of the Oversight Committee.”

So, wait—Issa knew about previously-hidden elements of the situation in Benghazi, but didn’t release them? Isn’t that, like, a cover-up, according to the newly-lowered bar for the term? Nixonian! Impeach! Impeach!

Conspiracy Theorists Are Even Dumber Than You Thought

by evanmcmurry

A new study confirms what you’ve always known*:

For example, while it has been known for some time that people who believe in one conspiracy theory are also likely to believe in other conspiracy theories, we would expect contradictory conspiracy theories to be negatively correlated. Yet, this is not what psychologists Micheal Wood, Karen Douglas and Robbie Suton found in a recent study. Instead, the research team, based at the University of Kent in England, found that many participants believed in contradictory conspiracy theories. For example, the conspiracy-belief that Osama Bin Laden is still alive was positively correlated with the conspiracy-belief that he was already dead before the military raid took place. This makes little sense, logically: Bin Laden cannot be both dead and alive at the same time. An important conclusion that the authors draw from their analysis is that people don’t tend to believe in a conspiracy theory because of the specifics, but rather because of higher-order beliefs that support conspiracy-like thinking more generally.

In other words, no amount of arguing about the melting point of steel or gun registries or anything else will convince people who believe this stuff; it’s the conspiratorial nature of the theory that attracted them, not the theory itself. Which means the guy barking at you to wake up and stop being such a sheeple is actually the most likely to believe any crazy thing you tell him so long as it conforms with his cognitive template. You’re welcome to point this out to him, but it’s your funeral.

* How did you already know? False flag!