A Flea in the Fur of the Beast

“Death, fire, and burglary make all men equals.” —Dickens

Category: Wingnuts

So, Who’s Driving?

by evanmcmurry

Shortly after word that the House GOP was attaching a provision to the CR that limits contraception access comes this:

Screen Shot 2013-09-28 at 10.08.48 PM

Legislating is like shooting pool: after two drinks, you’re great; after three, you shouldn’t be playing at all.

Today in Wall Street as a Crime-Free Neighborhood

by evanmcmurry

Gubwah?

At a town hall meeting in El Dorado Hills, California on Tuesday, a constituent asked McClintock for his “stance on Wall Street criminal practices.” The congressman responded, “Well first of all, for a criminal practice there has to be a gun. It’s pretty simple.”

But! But but but but but but but I thought gunz stopped the tyranneez! When King Caliph Obama comes for our Medicare, what are we supposed to do, sell derivatives at him?

Incidentally, this is why god created Eugene Robinson, worth half of WaPo‘s price tag by his lonesome.

Even Republicans Treat Louie Gohmert Like A Feral Chihuahua

by evanmcmurry

From one of this week’s many new episodes of “The GOP Doesn’t Ever Want To Win Another Election In A Non-Gerrymandered District” comes this bit of comic relief:

Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas kept jumping up from his chair and objecting to Democrats’ requests, until Boehner’s floor leader put her hand on Gohmert’s chair and asked him to cool it.

He really is like your neighbor’s little dog that won’t stop yapping at whatever he thinks he sees out the window.

Bullshit Now Has A Price Tag

by evanmcmurry

It’s $7 million.

What We Talk About When We Don’t Talk About Austerity (Vaginas, Mostly)

by evanmcmurry

I may be seeing causal connections where there are none, but it nonetheless seems noteworthy that weeks after news that the deficit is collapsing at an unexpectedly rapid rate—thereby depriving conservatives of their ability to yell “Austerity! Spending!” in response to any question, real or imagined—comes the following:

  • Ohio Republicans introduced what ThinkProgress is calling “the worst abortion bill of all time,” mandating, among other things, that doctors tell women medically disputed information, a 48 hour waiting period, and that women not only submit to intrusive ultrasounds but pay for the procedure themselves.
  • House Republicans—the national, big boy branch!—is planning a vote on a blatantly unconstitutional measure restricting abortion after twenty weeks, with no exception for rape or incest, a bill with no chance of passing the Senate, being signed by the president, or surviving an appellate court.
  • Trent Franks, the author of the 20-week ban, decided to re-up Todd Akin and blah blah blah about the relation of rape to pregnancy.
  • The House passed the new National Defense Authorization Act with an amendment overturning the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.
  • The House—they’re on a roll—also passed a bill calling for the deportation of DREAM-eligible immigrants, a pointless salvo in the calm before they take up immigration reform.

The tea partyish elements pulled this bait-and-switch in 2010, when the clown car that got elected on cutting spending pulled up to state capitol buildings with anti-Planned Parenthood bills falling out the passenger window. But that cultural undercurrent, which was largely obscured by subsequent debt-ceiling dramas and budget battles, came back to upend the GOP in 2012 in the form of Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin and the gang. Moral of the story: conservatives are on much firmer footing when they rail about debts and deficits than when they improv on reproductive systems.

But that political calculus requires a deficit crisis. If you read this blog you know the deficit crisis was always more of an imagined moral imperative than a real emergency, but it’s still deflating before our eyes, even with the gratuitous austerity measures we’ve passed in the past three years. So what we’re seeing right now is a political movement suddenly faced with a void where their raison d’être used to be. The GOP clearly has no bench of issues: the moment the government spending alarm stops sounding, they immediately revert to criminalizing women’s health, oppressing gay people, and demagoguing immigrants. Which means the better the economy gets, the more we’re going to hear white men inveigh on the morality of pregnancy.

How Not To Govern

by evanmcmurry

Pierce points us to two shining examples of modern conservative governance. First up, South Carolina is passing a law punishing anybody in their state who tries to implement Obamacare:

A proposed bill, on special order in the state Senate, would allow the state attorney general to take businesses, including health insurers, to court if he “has reasonable cause to believe” they are harming people by implementing the law. The bill already has passed the House. If it passes, the bill could push South Carolina to the forefront of Obamacare resistance, giving the state’s Republican leaders a national stage. It also could push South Carolina into yet another costly legal battle in the federal courts that, critics say, is unnecessary and avoidable. [E.A.]

Cuz nothing says “responsible use of taxpayer dollars” like a multimillion dollar court battle over a pointless piece of legislation. Speaking of fiscal responsibility, the House is passing an amendment explicitly forbidding any funding of ACORN—which hasn’t existed in three years, but hey, Republican congressmen get to go home to their district bragging about how they took it to those liberal election fixers in the “urban” parts.

This is what happens when you elect people who are not for smarter, leaner government, but explicitly against governing at all.

Michele Bachmann: Woman In Parking Lot Told Me Staying In Congress Causes Retardation

by evanmcmurry

Far be it for Bachmann to exit stage right without a proper bow to the looniez in the cheap seats:

The law limits anyone from serving as president of the United States for more than eight years. And in my opinion, well, eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a representative for a specific congressional district.

This is…not convincing.