Live Tweeting the Sewers

by evanmcmurry

Best comments section of the day: the reviews for Nicolas Cage pillow covers:

Worst comments section of the day: the responses to the Taliban’s tweet announcing the assassination of an Afghan election official:

Adventures In Honesty, JPMorgan Edition

by evanmcmurry

JPMorgan’s Q1 “restatement”: “Our previously filed financial statements for the 2012 first quarter should no longer be relied upon.”

Jamie Dimon, on conference call a few minutes later: “We made a mistake. We completely disclosed the mistake.”

See? They disclosed the mistake in the statement that should no longer be relied upon. “We admitted what we did in the lie that we told.” What’s everybody’s problem?

By the by, shares of JP Morgan closed up 6% in response.

(via FT Alphaville)

Free Speech Is Not An Olympic Sport

by evanmcmurry

The London Olympics are attempting to prohibit links to their website unless you’re being nice about the London Olympics. Via Deadspin:

That’s right, they’re declaring it illegal to, say, claim the London Olympics shit on the concept of free speech. Or to say the London Olympics engage in bullshit catering to mega-corporations while telling small businesses to fuck off. And you definitely shouldn’t say the London Olympics have led people to fear for their lives as military missile installations are placed on their roof.

Good luck to them. The internet is very difficult place to lock down, as, sometimes, is London.

Pity The Women Who Slept With A John Stossel Impersonator

by evanmcmurry

You know how sometimes you can cry from happiness? Well, you can throw up from happiness, too. Via NYMag.

Adventures in the Void, Throwing at Your Son Edition

by evanmcmurry

“On February 27, 2006, to train for the World Baseball Classic, Clemens pitched in an exhibition game between the Astros and his son’s minor league team. In his first at-bat, [his son] Koby hit a home run off his father. In his next at-bat, Roger threw an inside pitch that almost hit Koby.”

Chug

by evanmcmurry

Given everything we know about contemporary, reality-TV-based views on the relationship of exhibitionism and selfhood, and the tendency for NYT trend pieces to be adorably wrong, there’s probably nothing to this article. But I like thinking that somewhere in Florida, spring breakers are unhappy.

Today in bloated solipsism masquerading as self-awareness

by evanmcmurry

“Bret Easton Ellis on the art of fiction: ‘American Psycho came out of a place of severe alienation and loneliness and self-loathing. I was pursuing a life—you could call it the Gentleman’s Quarterly way of living—that I knew was bullshit, and yet I couldn’t seem to help it.'”

Speak English

by evanmcmurry

Moments like this help me understand Rick Santorum’s appeal. This guy goes to Puerto Rico ON A CAMPAIGN STOP and tells them they’re not going to be a state and they need to start speaking English. Dumb and close-minded and quasi-racist? Yup. But he didn’t change a word of it to get a single vote (and didn’t get much more than a single vote). I stand by my opinion that being a bad candidate doesn’t make Santorum an underdog candidate, but I still understand how a Republican going into the voting booth can, in relation to Romney, see Santorum as the authentic choice. #despair

Logic, White Men Talking About Contraception Edition

by evanmcmurry

Holiday in Arizona

by evanmcmurry

You know you’re too conservative when even FOX Nation is telling you to cut it out.